Your kids will be okay. I promise. So get your body “in bed” ASAP.
What does it mean to “stay in bed”?
Not taking parenting so seriously.
Play. Don’t perform. Try to not put so much emphasis on averages, percentiles, milestones, rankings. I know, it’s hard. But parenting is not a competition…it’s not. Ever…Your child is on his own growth curve. And so are you.
Not feeling the need to explain (and over explain) your work status.
For instance, when asked what you do, don’t qualify “I’m a stay-at-home parent” with an explanation of why you made the choice to stay at home. Don’t deliver an elevator pitch of what you did in a previous life phase. You’re not “just a housewife”/”house husband”.
Not over-scheduling your kids or yourself.
There’s so much pressure to give your children a head start in all spheres of their lives (academic/intellectual, physical, social, emotional, spiritual), but ease up if doing so makes you a head case. It’s okay you didn’t sign up your toddler for tee-ball.
Saying “I ain’t gonna” sometimes.
“I ain’t gonna”…
- do the laundry,
- cook tonight,
- clean the house,
- make the bed(s),
Loving the mother you are, not the mother you “should” be.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into place.” Stop “shoulding” all over yourself. So what if you don’t cook. So what if you don’t craft. So what if you don’t [fill in the blank]. There are all kinds of moms (and dads) out there. Sound your unique “barbaric yawp across the roofs of the world.” You are mom (or dad) enough.
Indulging in me-time activities.
Find the fun again. Dance, draw, garden, hike, read, sightsee, write, you know…you do you.
Having adult-only zones.
In your home. In your car. On your phone. My favorite adult-only zone: our couch on Saturday mornings! My hubby and I share a cup of coffee together and talk about the week. No kids are allowed on the couch until our cups are empty. (Psst, don’t forget to put coffee on the grocery list.)
Wearing “athleisure” every day and not feeling bad about it.
Who said “comfortable” can’t be “cute”?
Napping when the kids nap.
Nap when your kids nap. If it doesn’t get done today, there’s always tomorrow…or the day after that. You don’t have to “get stuff done” while they’re sleeping, especially if you need the rest.
Getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night.
Attention stay-in-bed moms and dads, saying you only need six (or whatever) hours of sleep a night is complete poppycock. Experts recommend adults get 7-9 hours a night.
Allowing yourself “one big blowout” from time to time.
Maybe that’s a calorie-laden dinner with dessert, drinks out with friends, or a night at the movies – no kids of course.
Strive for progress not perfection. Grow through what you go through. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one. Earn an A+ in Authenticity. Your kids will love you for it.
Asking for help.
We’re not meant to parent alone. It takes a village, not an overstressed parent on the brink of a breakdown.
Remembering who you were before kids.
If you forgot who you were, then get reacquainted. That person has needs and wants too.
And when all else fails…
Escaping life (because sometimes you just have to) with a good story in bed.
For me, bed bliss is streaming a TV show in bed or reading under the covers, sometimes with my senile cat.
A Final Thought – From the Pillow
A happy parent = a happy baby
So stay in bed, in boat, in backyard, etc. Go to your happy place. And go there right now.
What does “stay in bed” mean for you?