If you’re a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) or a stay-at-home dad (SAHD), you’re accustomed to the occasional rude comment. I’ve been at the receiving end of hurtful comments (and not just from strangers).
- “If I were home all day, I’d be sooooo bored.”
- “I’d go crazy if I were you.”
- “When are you going back to work?”
For me, a slow and vindictive rage swells with each tactless question or remark.
Here’s some armor to help you parry off inappropriate comments like the Olympic champion fencer you are.
It’s more satisfying to be sassy, but it’s smarter to be savvy!
What to Say to Critics
“What do you do all day?”
“Eat a sleeve of Ritz Crackers and watch shows.” (Well, the first part may be true. OK, both parts are true on some days.)
“I do a lot during the day, from housework to [insert activity] to working on my own career and helping my kids experience the world, and before I know it, it’s the end of the day.”
“That must be nice (AKA easy) to stay at home all day.”
“Must be nice to have a life of your own.”
“We all work really hard. Whether you’re at home or at an office, kids are work and parents work hard.”
“I don’t understand how you didn’t get ‘it’ (e.g. the task) done.”
“I’ll leave you home with a big to-do list and a baby and see how much you get done.’”
“There are a lot of interruptions. I’m doing the best I can.”
“Do you ask your husband/wife for money?”
“No, do you?”
“Our family has made financial decisions that work for us.”
“What did you used to do, when you (actually) worked?”
“I had an easier life.”
“Before I had kids I was a/an [engineer, attorney, teacher, etc.] and I have to tell you, it was a lot easier than the job I do now!”
“Why don’t you ask one of the stay-at-home moms or dads to do it? I work.”
“You’re right, I don’t do actual work.” (sarcastically)
“All of us are very busy in our lives – including stay-at-home parents.”
“You don’t work, so you don’t understand.”
“Really, this again?!?”
“We all work hard for our families and we all want the best for our kids. The best thing we can do is respect people’s choices in how they raise their children.”
“I could never be at home with my kids all day.”
“Yeah, me neither. It blows.” (Sometimes being at home with kids is challenging.)
“I thought that way too until I started doing it. It’s the best thing for my family right now, and I’m glad I can do it.” OR “I’m having the time of my life.”
“When are you going back to work?”
Never, how do you like them apples?!? (gloatingly)
“For now, I’m feeling really lucky to have this time with my children, and I hope they’re benefiting from having me at home too.”
What to Say to Champions
Thank you. Thank you for recognizing that, like most jobs, being a SAHM/SAHD is difficult, but still rewarding.
The truth is on most days, parenthood is exhausting whether you’re at home or away from home.
A Final Thought – From the Pillow
You’re a champion fencer. Parry off rude questions and comments.
So don’t let other people’s words touch you. You deserve more.
If you’re a SAHM or SAHD, what’s the oddest or meanest thing anyone’s ever said to you about staying at home? What did you say back?