New Year’s resolutions and irresolutions

In thinking about New Year’s resolutions, I felt overwhelmed and took a three hour lazy nap while my children slept. New Year’s resolutions? Eff no. New Year’s irresolutions? Eff yes.

OK, well, how about one New Year’s resolution? I can resolve to complete one 365-day challenge.

What will I be toasting to at midnight?

Cheers to a resolution I can be successful achieving.

Pick One Challenge.

I halfheartedly started listing 30-day challenge ideas for this post, but soon realized I’d be better off trying one single challenge.

I want to be a mentally healthier person.

To that end, I’m trying not to ask my loved ones (family and friends) for rankings and reviews. As I’ve previously told you, I’m addicted to love in the form of words of affirmation. While that’s not necessarily unhealthy for some, it is for me.

Cheers to quality over quantity. There’s no shame in having one resolution to focus on this year.

Have a Mantra.

To help you in your resolve, devise a manta. It’s best if your manta is only a few words or syllables. Something you can say as you exhale after an in breath.

I’m Enough. 

I don’t need validation from…

  • my husband
  • my parents
  • my siblings
  • my extended family
  • my in-laws
  • my friends
  • my boss or coworkers
  • other moms and dads
  • my barista or bartender
  • strangers
  • my cat
  • …etc…

I won’t compare…*

*I’m boldfacing the troublesome areas.

I won’t compare myself to other women.

  • Age (youthful appearance)
  • Attractiveness
  • Education
  • Fashion (clothing, hair, makeup)
  • Friends
  • Resume (accomplishments, job titles, salaries, work experiences)
  • Travel

I won’t compare my parenting to other people’s parenting.

I won’t compare my children to other people’s children.

  • How well they sleep
  • How soon they reach their developmental milestones
  • How much they talk
  • How much (and what varieties of foods) they eat
  • How much they show affection, how nice they are 
  • How polite they are
  • How well-groomed, well-dressed, or put together they are
  • How many books they read
  • How many minutes of screen time they’ve had
  • How many experiences they’ve had (e.g. airplane flights, library story times, zoo trips, etc.)
  • How many sports or how many classes they’re enrolled in

I won’t compare my career (or lack thereof) to other people’s careers.

I won’t compare my home to other people’s homes.

I won’t compare my passport to other people’s passports.


Of course, my reptilian brain will constantly make comparisons (that’s what it does), but I’ll refrain from asking my loved ones to reassure me I’m OK and all’s good. Why ask them, when I can validate myself?

Cheers to self-soothing skills.

Focus on an Inspirational Quote or Image:

Post a power quote, like this one from Mohadesa Najumi, or image somewhere you’ll see every day like your car, nightstand, bathroom mirror, refrigerator, work desk, phone or computer home screen, etc. The word(s) or image should be empowering.

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” – Mohadesa Najumi

I love the idea of being comfortable in your own skin and not needing anyone’s approval for who or what you are.

Cheers to Najumi and her quote.

Celebrate Your Success.

Instead of having 12 challenges or resolutions this New Year, how about giving yourself 12 treats?

On the last Friday of each month, celebrate your success in keeping your resolution.

I say everyone’s allowed three slip-ups. If you have four or more slip-ups (It’s okay, don’t berate yourself!), the 28-31 day period resets. Maybe you’ll get that special treat next month.

For most of us, giving love to yourself isn’t second nature. If you’re looking for inspiration, here’s a list of rewards you can gift yourself each month. Aside from February, I tried to make non-food treats because I’ve had an unhealthy lifelong addiction to sugar.

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Photo by john paul tyrone fernandez on

January – a new article of “athleisure” clothing (e.g. yoga pants, cropped sweatshirt, strappy workout tank with a built in bra, etc.)

February – a box of personalized macarons as a Valentine’s Day treat

March – a dinner out with no kids (Go solo or with your partner or friend.)

April – a massage

May – a facial

June – a pedicure

July – a morning or afternoon at the pool or beach with a good book

August – a back-to-school or back-to-work fall outfit (top, bottom, and accessories)

September – a fall scented candle for your bedroom nightstand (Be sure you blow it out when you get sleepy!)

October – a yard service to rake/blow out all your fall leaves or a gardening/landscaping treat if you don’t live in a deciduous forest

November – a mom’s matinee (Go solo or with a friend.)

December – a stocking filled with love notes from all of your lovies (Have your partner write a love note and do ones for the kids.)

Cheers to rewarding yourself.

A Final Thought – From the Pillow

Cheers to you. Don’t stress. Do your best. Forget the rest.

So toast to your good faith efforts this next year. And treat yourself often. How will your children know how to love themselves if you don’t model self love?

What are your 12 resolutions rewards going to be?

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